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The Archive: January 2004

New leaves, sticky cranks and people on their ears. See what else
we turned in the first month of the new year.

News

Canuck Resistance to CIA Coup Stiffens; Rumsfeld Says No New Troops Needed Like Everything Else, Mad Cow Now Blamed on Canada Exclusive: Bush Foreign Policy Based on Lousy Star Wars Movie Script Media in Iraq Ordered to Report from Army News Handouts Only or Be Shot Terrorist Almanac Reader Cell Busted FDA Needs to Feel Out Breast Implants; Britney, Madonna Disappointed DeadBrain, at US Army's Request, Reports on Iraq's Shiny, Happy People Airlines Turn Over Mile-High Club Passenger Data to Federal Government Saddam's Diary Reveals End of Epic Romance with Donald Rumsfeld Bush Makes It Crystal Clear Why We Attacked Iraq - Because There Was Tomfoolery Afoot! Mars Orbiter Finds Evidence of Water Ice, Cheesesteaks in South Philly Saddam's Diaries: The Honeymoon with Rumsfeld, and First Worries Woman Returns from London with Annoying Phony Accent

Politics

Howard Dean Emerges Two Inches Shorter After Debate States Display Petty Jealousy Over Iowa, New Hampshire Voting Mission Control's Initial Report on the Search for Intelligent Life at the White House - "Nope!" DeadBrain's Top Ten Possible Satire Headlines Regarding the State of the Union Address "Stoned Guy" Reports: State of the Union Address Funnier Than Expected

Entertainment

Michael Jackson Says, "That 'Croc Hunter' Makes Me Look Like a Saint!" A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Calendar Girls! A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Big Fish! American Midol: Why Does This Column Exist? A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Along Came Polly! A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Butterfly Effect! American Midol: On Twins, Poofs, and Pirates A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...All Three Big Movies Out This Week!

See also

January 2004 in our UK edition

December 2003 Archive Index February 2004



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