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The Archive: March 2004
Spring has sprung, and we sprang these gems with a loud "Sprong!":
NewsReactions to the End of Another Black History Month
Mar 1 2004President Bush to Be Subtitled; Dennis Miller Diagnosed with HOS
Mar 6 2004Canadian Prime Minister Removed; Bush Looks Forward to "Bison-Riding"
Mar 9 2004Fellow Televangelists Suspicious: Pat Robertson a Little Too Anti-Gay
Mar 15 2004Selective Service to Draft Korean, Arabic, Gay Linguists
Mar 17 2004Gay Marriage Compromise Reached: Lesbians Yes, Gay Men No
Mar 18 2004Coke to Put Coke Back in Coke
Mar 20 2004Scalia Refuses to Recuse; Denies Orgy Rumors
Mar 22 2004Arkansasís Marsupial Industry Devastated by Mad 'Possum Epidemic
Mar 23 2004FCC Fines Itself for Indecent Indecency Policy
Mar 25 2004College Student Dumps His Girlfriend for PlayStation2
Mar 27 2004Opera Inspires Ashcroft's New Prison Punishment Ideas
Mar 29 2004Hamas: God Declares War on America, Israel, Sharon Stone
Mar 30 2004
PoliticsBush Proposes Constitutional Amendments on Agriculture, Slavery
Mar 2 2004Bush Blows October Surprise Party with Bin Laden Announcement
Mar 4 2004Kerry Campaign Begs Rosie O'Donnell to Withhold Endorsement
Mar 8 2004Bush, Kerry Threaten Each Other with Secret Society Initiation Videotapes
Mar 11 2004Liberal Special Interest Group Defines List of Appropriate GOP Commercial Topics
Mar 16 2004
EntertainmentExclusive: Mel Gibson Talks About the Passion
Mar 1 2004A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Starsky and Hutch!
Mar 5 2004American Midol: On Gay Marriage
Mar 10 2004A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Secret Window!
Mar 12 2004Nation's Children in Danger of Imitating "Passion of the Christ" Violence
Mar 13 2004A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Dawn of the Dead!
Mar 19 2004A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!
Mar 19 2004American Midol: Ashton, Colin, and Orlando
Mar 24 2004A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Scooby-Doo 2!
Mar 26 2004A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Ladykillers!
Mar 26 2004A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Jersey Girl!
Mar 26 2004
SportBaseball Equipment Managers Fuel Steroid Scandal with Jock Strap Stats
Mar 3 2004EA Sports Goes to Gruesome Lengths to Break "Madden Jinx"
Mar 31 2004
PropagandaSatirists Guild Clears DeadBrain of Lesbian/Anal Sex Wrongdoing
Mar 7 2004DeadBrain US Gets Hip to Smart Link Technology
Mar 11 2004
See alsoMarch 2004 in our UK edition