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  You are happy to see: Home > The ArchiveApril 17th 

The Archive: March 2004

Spring has sprung, and we sprang these gems with a loud "Sprong!":


Reactions to the End of Another Black History Month President Bush to Be Subtitled; Dennis Miller Diagnosed with HOS Canadian Prime Minister Removed; Bush Looks Forward to "Bison-Riding" Fellow Televangelists Suspicious: Pat Robertson a Little Too Anti-Gay Selective Service to Draft Korean, Arabic, Gay Linguists Gay Marriage Compromise Reached: Lesbians Yes, Gay Men No Coke to Put Coke Back in Coke Scalia Refuses to Recuse; Denies Orgy Rumors Arkansasís Marsupial Industry Devastated by Mad 'Possum Epidemic FCC Fines Itself for Indecent Indecency Policy College Student Dumps His Girlfriend for PlayStation2 Opera Inspires Ashcroft's New Prison Punishment Ideas Hamas: God Declares War on America, Israel, Sharon Stone


Bush Proposes Constitutional Amendments on Agriculture, Slavery Bush Blows October Surprise Party with Bin Laden Announcement Kerry Campaign Begs Rosie O'Donnell to Withhold Endorsement Bush, Kerry Threaten Each Other with Secret Society Initiation Videotapes Liberal Special Interest Group Defines List of Appropriate GOP Commercial Topics


Exclusive: Mel Gibson Talks About the Passion A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Starsky and Hutch! American Midol: On Gay Marriage A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Secret Window! Nation's Children in Danger of Imitating "Passion of the Christ" Violence A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Dawn of the Dead! A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind! American Midol: Ashton, Colin, and Orlando A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Scooby-Doo 2! A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Ladykillers! A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Jersey Girl!


Baseball Equipment Managers Fuel Steroid Scandal with Jock Strap Stats EA Sports Goes to Gruesome Lengths to Break "Madden Jinx"


Satirists Guild Clears DeadBrain of Lesbian/Anal Sex Wrongdoing DeadBrain US Gets Hip to Smart Link Technology

See also

March 2004 in our UK edition

February 2004 Archive Index April 2004

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