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The Archive: March 2004
Spring has sprung, and we sprang these gems with a loud "Sprong!":
News
Reactions to the End of Another Black History Month
Mar 1 2004
President Bush to Be Subtitled; Dennis Miller Diagnosed with HOS
Mar 6 2004
Canadian Prime Minister Removed; Bush Looks Forward to "Bison-Riding"
Mar 9 2004
Fellow Televangelists Suspicious: Pat Robertson a Little Too Anti-Gay
Mar 15 2004
Selective Service to Draft Korean, Arabic, Gay Linguists
Mar 17 2004
Gay Marriage Compromise Reached: Lesbians Yes, Gay Men No
Mar 18 2004
Coke to Put Coke Back in Coke
Mar 20 2004
Scalia Refuses to Recuse; Denies Orgy Rumors
Mar 22 2004
Arkansas’s Marsupial Industry Devastated by Mad 'Possum Epidemic
Mar 23 2004
FCC Fines Itself for Indecent Indecency Policy
Mar 25 2004
College Student Dumps His Girlfriend for PlayStation2
Mar 27 2004
Opera Inspires Ashcroft's New Prison Punishment Ideas
Mar 29 2004
Hamas: God Declares War on America, Israel, Sharon Stone
Mar 30 2004
Politics
Bush Proposes Constitutional Amendments on Agriculture, Slavery
Mar 2 2004
Bush Blows October Surprise Party with Bin Laden Announcement
Mar 4 2004
Kerry Campaign Begs Rosie O'Donnell to Withhold Endorsement
Mar 8 2004
Bush, Kerry Threaten Each Other with Secret Society Initiation Videotapes
Mar 11 2004
Liberal Special Interest Group Defines List of Appropriate GOP Commercial Topics
Mar 16 2004
Entertainment
Exclusive: Mel Gibson Talks About the Passion
Mar 1 2004
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Starsky and Hutch!
Mar 5 2004
American Midol: On Gay Marriage
Mar 10 2004
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Secret Window!
Mar 12 2004
Nation's Children in Danger of Imitating "Passion of the Christ" Violence
Mar 13 2004
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Dawn of the Dead!
Mar 19 2004
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!
Mar 19 2004
American Midol: Ashton, Colin, and Orlando
Mar 24 2004
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Scooby-Doo 2!
Mar 26 2004
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Ladykillers!
Mar 26 2004
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Jersey Girl!
Mar 26 2004
Sport
Baseball Equipment Managers Fuel Steroid Scandal with Jock Strap Stats
Mar 3 2004
EA Sports Goes to Gruesome Lengths to Break "Madden Jinx"
Mar 31 2004
Propaganda
Satirists Guild Clears DeadBrain of Lesbian/Anal Sex Wrongdoing
Mar 7 2004
DeadBrain US Gets Hip to Smart Link Technology
Mar 11 2004
See also
March 2004 in our UK edition
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