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| You smell better than: Home > Entertainment | March 22nd |
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"Sex and the City" Finale: Carrie and Friends Brutally Murdered in Proletariat UprisingFeb 19 2004 by Ryan Moore
In a surprise last-episode twist, HBO revealed that gal-pals Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte will be murdered in an uprising of the working people of Manhattan.A source described the last episode as "a bloodbath. The working class of Manhattan has finally had enough and organizes against its oppressors." Samantha Jones is confronted outside her posh midtown Manhattan offices by a mob of deliverymen, busboys and waiters, each of whom she had previously used to satisfy her insatiable lust, then wantonly discarded without ever so much as learning his name. "Ooh, a gang bang - how seventies," Jones purrs as the mob closes in on her, but her screams of pleasure quickly turn to horror, as the jilted proles tear her limb from limb. Harvard-educated lawyer Miranda is hung by her own pantyhose from the terrace of her 54th floor office, while blue-blooded Charlotte is repeatedly run over with a commandeered "Hamptons Jitney" bus. Police arrive at Carrie's $4000 a month apartment to find her dead, with the spike of a $900 Manolo Blahnik stiletto driven almost seven inches into her skull. Forensic experts are called in to reconstruct Bradshaw's last hours: She receives an "infuriating" phone message from a capitalist plutocrat known as "Mr. Big," who vows to come to her rescue, "if I can get out of this business thing at the Plaza." Bradshaw then apparently spends the next several hours waiting in vain for "Big's" arrival while smoking menthol cigarettes, vowing to herself to "quit tomorrow." Carrie's last thoughts are found on her blood-spattered laptop: "I wondered, did this drably-attired mob have a point? Was the machinery of capitalism really oiled with the blood of the workers, and if so, do they at least get a box of orange juice and a little cookie afterwards? Was olive camouflage the new black? And in a city like New York, with over a million people living below the poverty line, had our unbridled contempt for the common people all these years been an uncommonly large mistake?"
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