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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Dawn of the Dead!

A reimagining of a seminal 1970s horror film. And yes, we just like saying “seminal.”

Dad: I didn’t think anything would be as disgusting as The Passion of the Christ this year, but boy was I wrong. I nearly filled the popcorn bucket with vomit.

Mom: That’s exactly what Oprah said I’d look like if I stayed on the Atkins Diet too long. What good is the Atkins Diet if the guy who invented it is dead?

Sis: It’s soooo true - the mall is the place to be, no matter what. I can totally see why they’d hide out there. They could live, like, forever!

Bro: Dad’s popcorn bucket smells like my sister the time she came home from Roach Kirkson’s party in the back of a police car! Smelly stuff rules!

Baby: First, it’s gotta be your bag. Second, you’d better not be a purist. Third, don’t be asking questions like, “Doesn’t anybody have a cell phone?” If you meet all three criteria, then this movie’s a good bet. But who needs a shotgun to kill monsters? I’ll take my plastic hippo flashlight over a gun any day of the week.

Verdict: Big screen or not at all.

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