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| You have been flattened by: Home > Entertainment | October 11th |
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 American Midol: In Defense of Howard SternApr 7 2004 by Lani Voivod
I'm not in Howie's demographic. I'm a chick without implants. I'm over 25 (a senior citizen, in his Strippertopia). I don't pass gas in public.* However, I have listened to Howard Stern on a fairly regular basis for about ten years. Drop in on anyone a few days a week for a decade and you learn a few things about that person. Here's what I know about the self-dubbed King of All Media: He's consistent. He believes in the First Amendment, Creative Freedom, Hard Work, and Hot Women. He's never strayed from these values – not in his rants against the FCC nor in his determined quests for butterfaces, seasoned porn stars, and any mulleticious stooge with a double-digit I.Q. He always says what he means, and seldom means what he says. Though his audience is often presumed to be dim-witted, Stern actually expects (and delivers) a higher level of intelligence – a media sophistication, if you will. On any given day, schtick or segment, you either get his joke or you don't. But if you don't, don't blame him - you're probably a big ol' repressed numb-nut who needs some serious coitus with a body part that's a) not synthetic and b) not your own. He's not paranoid. He really DOES get singled out and picked on by The Man. Word for word, year after year, Stern busts his hump to deliver what his core listeners want, and what our over-stimulated culture actually needs – an authentic, entertaining voice that pushes the limits of decency because it's one of the only ways to wake us up out of our infotainment coma. We owe him a debt of gratitude. Howard Stern's been thinking, creating, and fighting the good fight against the bleep-happy censors for more than 20 years. He's given us original radio content, two earnestly-conceived autobiographies, outrageous reality TV before it was cool, and – dare I say it, one darn good movie. So why does this $70K/day radio personality need defending? Because the morning commute just wouldn't be the same without anal sex. *A bold-faced lie, but I needed a third differential. Related Articles American Midol: Ashton, Colin, and Orlando Mar 24 2004
American Midol: On Gay Marriage
Mar 10 2004
American Midol: The Passion of the Christ, 30 Lives LaterFeb 25 2004 American Midol: Mother Google Makes a Bust Feb 11 2004 American Midol: On Twins, Poofs, and Pirates Jan 28 2004 American Midol: Why Does This Column Exist? Jan 14 2004
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