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| You are just out of reach of: Home > Entertainment | May 24th |
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 The Ex-Files: Climbing the Twelve Steps of the Berry/Benet BreakupMay 13 2004 by The Cosmic Detective
Any seasoned 12-stepper knows when it's time to go back to rehab. I knew my number was up when I discovered that the whole world was IN LOVE yet I was miserable. Those Survivor kids were engaged. Sandi Bullock's dating a Hot Rod hottie. Even Barbie had a new man. Intellectually, I understood that after our basic needs for shelter, food, and a frequent buyer discount at Fred Segal, we just wanted to love and be loved. Still I felt lost, and checked myself into detox. Ex-Files Case #123999 Code Name: BerryNoMore Sitting across from me at my first group meeting was the former Mr. Halle Berry. Which put me in a pickle. What's said in rehab stays in rehab. What's a dick to do? Step 1: Admit the problem. I admitted that E.B. was an idiot for not being faithful to Halle. Steps 2 and 3 offer hope and strength to overcome one's addictions. I hoped Halle was healing and that she'd found the strength to stop taking E.B.'s calls. Steps 4 and 5 require taking a personal inventory. Clearly, E.B. needed clarity if he thought being married to H.B. wasn't enough. Was fidelity so hard? Back in my Studio 54 days, step 6 was my nemesis. I wasn't ready to surrender my demons to God. I tried giving E.B. the benefit of these same doubts. Step 7 changed that. Wouldn't you do ANYTHING for a bikini-clad Bond girl? Steps 8 and 9: Make a list of people hurt and then apologize. I noticed E.B. and I had similar lists. Sure, the India on his list was his daughter; mine was the country, but I'm pretty sure we were referring to the same Madonna. Steps 10 and 11 require acceptance of one's addiction, and courage to overcome it. I wondered why E.B. couldn't just fix his philandering ways and love this phenomenal woman. By step 12, I realized I should forgive E.B. After all, Halle's utter perfection was enough to send any mere mortal on a self-loathing binge. I'd like to think I've transcended those baser fears. Maybe I should give her a call... Related Articles The Ex-Files: Climbing the Twelve Steps of the Berry/Benet Breakup May 13 2004
The Ex-Files: Behind the Scenes of the Stamos Split
Apr 28 2004
The Ex-Files: Investigating the Cruise/Cruz Breakup
Apr 14 2004
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