A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Shrek 2!

Everyone knows that sequels suck. So the question is, how bad does Shrek 2 suck? Mike Myers is currently on a suck streak. So is Eddie Murphy. And Cameron Diaz? Let's not get into the suckage that was Charlie's Angels 2, shall we? If it weren't for John Cleese, Julie Andrews and Antonio Banderas, we'd lose all hope for it.

Dad: Hey, it doesn't suck much after all! I understood all the in-jokes, too - must be because I've been watching so much "Video Hits 1" recently. And I didn't even have to watch Eddie Murphy trying to make a live-action living off of Macaulay Culkin's old facial expressions!

Mom: Thank God - there's been too much sucking in this movie theater already. Did I just say that out loud?

Sis: I can't believe you bought me three "Shrek" training bras, Mom! This is the most humiliating…and would you pass the popcorn, please? You're not eating any, and your hand's been in there for the last five minutes!

Bro: Shrek can fart and burp and everyone thinks it's funny, but when I do it I get sent to detention and no one nominates me for "Class Clown." I thought Hollywood already corrupted our school system! I guess it's all up to me now…

Baby: [Sigh] How can a movie be so much fun and still be the village bicycle of corporate product placement? I guess that's comedy for you - if it makes you laugh, it doesn't matter how much crap they try to sell you in the process. And it made me laugh. Somebody sticking a tongue out makes me laugh, though, so I'm an easy target.

Verdict: Have some fun and see it on the big screen. Even better, smuggle in a six-pack and take a drink at every pop-culture reference. Then wait for the paramedics.


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