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| You have been disturbed by: Home > Entertainment | October 11th |
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 American Midol: The Mad-Scientist Genius That IS VH1Dec 7 2004 by Lani Voivod
If you're a pressed-for-time thirty-something who happens to stumble upon VH1 these days, chances are, YOU ARE SCREWED. They've hired an elite team of experts – psychologists, behaviorists, humorists, graphic artists, writers, and power-starved cultural pulp manufacturers – and our petty defenses are useless against such strategic might. Don't know what I'm talking about? Chew on this sampling of their programming buffet: Did I mention their Retrosexual series??? I wish I could say I'm too smart or proud to succumb to VH1's tactics, but alas, I'm not. They burrow the "queer" Valley Girl lingo, the blissful bubblegum content, and the oh-so-sincere B-list interstitials right into my desperately lost and aging soul, and I willfully acquiesce. On the positive side, the sycophantic music channel has helped me shed nearly 20 pounds. While staring hungrily at its offerings on a TV in my gym's cardio room, I've treadmilled extra miles to see how Andre and Antwan rapped their way out of their high school cafeteria, and ellipticized interminably for the grand reveal of Nelly's next Miss Apple Bottom. But it's more than futile stargazing – more than the divinely gratuitous E! channel, or the hit-or-miss efforts toward original programming on that other "music video" stronghold. It's the way VH1 serves up – with such certainty, chummy humor, and non-patronizing benevolence – wistful snippets of our pop-heavy experiences. We see the Rubik's Cube, and Berlin reunited, and the documented buzz around "Pong," and we're like, "Hey! I was there! Those are the trifling details of MY life, MY memories – validated, and in full color!" And so, it's with an aching rapture that we watch as our pithy lives, pastimes, and passions are flawlessly delivered, and handled with infinite care and charisma. VH1 is a bewitched mirror, and we are mesmerized by our own reflections. Grade-A Nostalgia. Sublime. Related Articles American Midol: The Mad-Scientist Genius That IS VH1 Dec 7 2004
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