 |
|
|
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen |
|
 |
|
| You have fallen over: Home > Entertainment | October 12th |
| |
|
 The Ex-Files: The Cosmic Dick Gets BusyJan 5 2005 by The Cosmic Detective
One of the occupational hazards of my profession is that it leaves little time for a life of my own. I travel extensively, never know my schedule, and any free time I do have is spent pursuing personal peace, something I've discovered is necessary to balance out the dark side of my work. Needless to say, romantic entanglements don't figure into my life. That is, not usually. I decided to ring in the New Year in Costa Rica. A certain 80s celebrity-turned holistic guru has an island there, and offered me one of his guest bungalows. I thought it'd be a quiet week of meditation, spiritual cleansing, and serious soul searching. I never expected to meet someone. I can't divulge too many details, as this person is an entity unto themselves. Goes by only one name. Is regularly mentioned on Access Hollywood and VH-1. Is ridiculously talented. Wears one of those Kaballah bracelets. Only unlike the trend-followers in Tinseltown, this person actually knows what the bracelet means. And lives their life according to those principles. From the moment we met, we clicked. And spent the next week hiking in the rainforest, exploring the nearby dormant volcano, and having intense spiritual exchanges followed by an hour of chanting on the beach at sunset. Now, I've been in this business too long to think that a week with someone special has anything to do with love. Plus, I know this person's romantic track record. And I refuse to be the jilted lover left by the side of the rainforest. Instead, I look at our magical week together as a gift from the universe. After all, this Cosmic Dick has needs. And while most of the time I live in a tantric state of nirvana, every once in awhile, I need to get me some. I've since returned to the real world, and am looking forward to 2005. A year in which Hollywood hearts will be broken, millionaire marriages will go bust, and maybe, just maybe, the Cosmic Detective will strike a happy balance between celebrity splits and a life of my own. Related Articles The Ex-Files: The Cosmic Dick Jan 5 2005
The Ex-Files: What I Know For Sure: My Ode to Oprah
Dec 23 2004
The Ex-Files: What's Big in '04? Staying Together
Dec 8 2004
The Ex-Files: The Low-Down on Lohan
Nov 24 2004
The Ex-Files: The Cosmic Dick Gets Sick
Nov 10 2004
The Ex-Files: Another Millionaire Marriage Bites the Dust
Oct 23 2004
|
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2003-2008 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Survey | Vermin |