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| You have fallen into: Home > Entertainment | October 12th |
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 The Ex-Files: The ABCs of Celebrity SplitsFeb 2 2005 by The Cosmic Detective
When you've been in the business as long as I have, you learn how to spot certain celebrity breakup trends. And when a New Year starts with such a sensational celebrity split – as it did this year with the breakup of Brad and Jen - well, you know every other breakup is just going to pale in comparison. But you also know that Hollywood is a town of copycats. And where there's an A-list split, there will be a B, C, and even has-been split trailing close behind. Don't believe me? Allow me to illustrate the ABCs of celebrity splits. B-List Split Orlando and Kate. Sure he's a teenie bopper hunk, but I still consider Orlando and Kate's breakup only mildly newsworthy. Not that that's a bad thing. I actually respect the fact that K & O didn't parade their relationship out on the red carpet for all the paparazzi to see. So it's no wonder we're not going bananas over their breakup. C-List Split I give him props. Ryan Seacrest, AKA The World's Biggest Self Promotion Geek, is actually being very hush hush about his split from his longtime girlfriend. Ironic, really, considering "Seacrest, out!" once pulled me aside at the Playboy Mansion and drunkenly confided that no publicity is bad publicity. And he oughtta know. Has-Been Split First Brad and Jen. Now a Brady? That's right. Barry Williams, AKA Greg Brady, is getting divorced. Me thinks it's just his ploy to steal the thunder of resident Surreal Life hottie – and former Brady brother - Christopher Knight. Riddle me this, Greg. When did Peter surpass your grooviness? And when did he get those absolutely fab abs? So there you have it. The ABCs of celebrity breakups, post-Pitt split. And that's quite a flurry of activity considering it's only been a month. But then again, Valentine's Day is just around the corner. And in Hollywood, celebrities get penalized for breaking up in February. I pinky swear. I've read the contract. Related Articles The Ex-Files: Deciphering the Pitt Split Jan 19 2005
The Ex-Files: The Cosmic Dick Gets Busy
Jan 5 2005
The Ex-Files: What I Know For Sure: My Ode to Oprah
Dec 23 2004
The Ex-Files: What's Big in '04? Staying Together
Dec 8 2004
The Ex-Files: The Low-Down on Lohan
Nov 24 2004
The Ex-Files: The Cosmic Dick Gets Sick
Nov 10 2004
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