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American Midol: Jacko, Porno, Court-o, Uh-Oh! (A Michael Jackson Primer, Part 2 = The Quick-Spit Facts)
Feb 7 2005 by Lani VoivodMichael Jackson's sordid saga began in Part 1 = Before the Neverland Sting. And without further ado, here's Part 2.
"Please keep an open mind and let me have my day in court. I deserve a fair trial like every other American citizen. I will be acquitted and vindicated when the truth is told."
-Michael Jackson, in a statement read to Fox News' Geraldo Rivera – and the world – in January, 2005
Oh, I don't know about that, Michael. The evidence appears a tad too incriminating to be totally innocent. And even though many of us truly want to believe you – you've given us some of the best music, the best videos, the best dancing, and the best celebrity-gawking of our lives – you've made it pretty darn hard.
EXHIBIT A: Just the Facts
I imagine OJ Simpson reclining on a lounge chair, orally fondling an illegally-imported stogie, and grinning from ear to murderous ear. For this Michael Jackson mess is not merely a celebrity-persecution, not solely a public stoning of moonwalk proportions.
It's much, MUCH bigger.
We've saved the most lurid and climactic for last in Part 3 = An Elite Selection of Juicy, Lewd, and Sordid Details. Drive it home!
Enjoyed this American Midol column? Or diabolically incensed by its uselessness? Either way, you're invited to check out all of Lani Voivod's Midol spasms right here. Wanna sound off on this subject? Send your feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org!
American Midol: Jacko, Porno, Court-o, Uh-Oh! (A Michael Jackson Primer, Part 1 = Before the Neverland Sting)
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