American Midol: Jacko, Porno, Court-o, Uh-Oh! (A Michael Jackson Primer, Part 2 = The Quick-Spit Facts)

Michael Jackson's sordid saga began in Part 1 = Before the Neverland Sting. And without further ado, here's Part 2.

"Please keep an open mind and let me have my day in court. I deserve a fair trial like every other American citizen. I will be acquitted and vindicated when the truth is told."
-Michael Jackson, in a statement read to Fox News' Geraldo Rivera – and the world – in January, 2005

Oh, I don't know about that, Michael. The evidence appears a tad too incriminating to be totally innocent. And even though many of us truly want to believe you – you've given us some of the best music, the best videos, the best dancing, and the best celebrity-gawking of our lives – you've made it pretty darn hard.

EXHIBIT A: Just the Facts

Michael Jackson, universally-renowned pop icon for four decades, 46 years old. Height = 5'11, Weight = 120 (!!!- this weight on a nearly six-foot tall man, all by itself, arouses suspicions that something is simply not right with this guy!!!)

The Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department arrests Jackson in November, 2003 for child molestation, after a raid of his Venus-Fly-Trap-for-Kids estate, NEVERLAND VALLEY RANCH.

The accuser, a now-15-year-old cancer patient for Cripe's sake (then 13), alleges that Jackson gave him booze, shared some of his favorite porn sites and mags, told him that "boys have to masturbate or they go crazy," and selflessly offered to rescue the boy from this unspeakable fate.

Jackson's April, 2004 indictment includes 28 "overt acts" that comprise a felony conspiracy count.

More than 1,000 news reps from around the globe have applied for credentials to deliver this media-madhouse to their countrymen.