A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Be Cool!

Don't tell us to be cool! We'll be cool if we damn well please, thanks very much for nothing. Uma and Olta get their groove on with a good old fashioned cast of thousands.

Sis: Uma Thurman's the reason I'll never get married. How can you be sooo hot and your husband still cheats on you? Guys are dumber than a box of tampons.

Mom: Honey, that's a lesson I'd hoped you'd never have to learn. But now that you have, let's talk about how well you can make do with a pliable man of limited ambitions.

Bro: I've found my new catchphrase: "Twinkle twinkle, baby!" I think I'll start saying it about 7,000 times a day, regardless of whether anyone's even talking to me or within twelve miles of the sound of my voice.

Dad: My man-crush on The Rock lives on. But it feels weirdly wrong when he plays a gay guy like this. Hey, that must mean I'm not gay! Woohoo! Now I can play all my Erasure CDs with honor!

Baby: Finally, some honest-to-Mel chemistry! Travolta and Thurman got it, and this movie's best when they flaunt it. But that's the fatal flaw, too - it's only good in the moments, so like my octagonal shape sorter toy, the whole is less than the sum of its parts.

Verdict: Rental quality, but if you've got winter cabin fever, get out and big-screen it.


Related Articles
A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Pacifier!

Mar 4 2005

A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Jacket!

Mar 4 2005

A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Son of the Mask!

Feb 25 2005

A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Constantine!

Feb 18 2005

A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Hitch!

Feb 11 2005

A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Hide and Seek!

Jan 29 2005