Celine Dion Prepares for Release of New Album: Mes Areolas Gonfles

Pop diva Celine Dion is preparing to break new ground with her first album in four and a half Canadian years. Loosely translated, Mes Areolas Gonfles means "My Swollen Areolas," and it opens a door on a new chapter in the singer's life.

Celine's life has taken many turns since her last album in 2002. The singer moved to Las Vegas to entertain and disappoint legions of Franco-Canadian sympathizers. 2003 was also a banner year, as she and husband, 87-year-old Rene Angelil, finally consummated their 1994 marriage.

With babes hanging from the teats of faithful servants and the hot Las Vegas air causing her show-canceling nose bleed after nose bleed, Celine knew it was time to put pen to paper. From this troubling period sprung forth a wealth of passion and soul-searching adult contemporary and lite-rock fare.

The reclusive enigma recently talked about her latest work.

"I am expecting that this will be my finest hour," boasted Dion in her bastardized French accent. "I pulled much of my inspiration from my supple breast, you know? I would kneed them and pull at them until they were raw and testy like bad, bad children. And then I would sing."

The album release coincides with the cancellation of her 100th show at the Caesars' Palace Theater.

Celine Dion is nothing if not a true French-Canadian woman, and that can lead to translation issues she feels that this album explores. "In Canada, we are very free about our bodies and how we cancel our shows. When we Canadians blow somebody off or inform a complete stranger about a cloudy discharge problem we know they are saying 'Hey, come to my house and eat my dinner, eh?'"

International differences aside, the diva of divas predicts people will still love her music, largely due to the "pact I made with the devil many, many years ago, eh? I mean, how else do you explain that I wore a men's suit coat backwards to an awards show and no one batted an eye?"


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