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Feh Shui – Authentic New York Style DécorOct 13 2005 by Tara Zucker
The basic theory behind "Feh Shui" is that it doesn't matter where you put anything, your mother won't like it. Also, what's with the no curtains on the windows that any pervert with a pair of binoculars can look right in and see everything? This is New York City, for crying out loud. Even though it's obvious those windows haven't been washed since 1962, dirt is not the same as a nice pair of sheers. I'm just saying. Is that a dead plant over there in the corner? Let me tell you something, too much water is just as bad as none. Listen, it's not your fault. We're not plant people. Speaking of which, your cousin just did her entire kitchen. Venetian plaster everywhere and a glaze on the cabinets you wouldn't believe. To die for. Like you're standing right there in Tuscany with that girl in the movie about Tuscany. And just so you know, a futon with a schmatta comforter on top is not a real bed, I don't care if it is from Mr. Calvin Klein. Feh Shui. Décor that says "Personally I wouldn't pick that color if they were giving it away for free but you're the one who has to live with it." Like what you're reading here? Check out the new Homeland Homes and Gardens Blog, and join the patriotic fight against the terror of home décor! Related Articles Katrina's True Lesson - A Spiritual Offering of Hope Sep 29 2005
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