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  Homes and Gardens

Feh Shui – Authentic New York Style Décor

The DHHG Terror Alert: Home Escalators

Author Harriet Levenstein recently spoke to a standing-room only crowd at Barnes & Noble, where she signed copies of The Principles of Feh Shui (or Who Decorated This House, A Blind Monkey on Drugs?). Feh Shui, a style that originated in New York, takes its name from the Yiddish word "feh," which indicates disapproval or displeasure. This decorating concept can be applied to homes, condos, and that one room shoe box on the upper east side you call an "apartment" that your mother and father worked their fingers to the bone so you could go to a nice school and meet nice boys but no, you wanted a career, which, I realize, it's 2005, and I'm glad you're having a good time in the City with your friends, but would it kill you to dust under the couch once in a while?

The basic theory behind "Feh Shui" is that it doesn't matter where you put anything, your mother won't like it.

Also, what's with the no curtains on the windows that any pervert with a pair of binoculars can look right in and see everything? This is New York City, for crying out loud. Even though it's obvious those windows haven't been washed since 1962, dirt is not the same as a nice pair of sheers. I'm just saying.

Is that a dead plant over there in the corner? Let me tell you something, too much water is just as bad as none. Listen, it's not your fault. We're not plant people. Speaking of which, your cousin just did her entire kitchen. Venetian plaster everywhere and a glaze on the cabinets you wouldn't believe. To die for. Like you're standing right there in Tuscany with that girl in the movie about Tuscany.

And just so you know, a futon with a schmatta comforter on top is not a real bed, I don't care if it is from Mr. Calvin Klein.

Feh Shui. Décor that says "Personally I wouldn't pick that color if they were giving it away for free but you're the one who has to live with it."


Like what you're reading here? Check out the new Homeland Homes and Gardens Blog, and join the patriotic fight against the terror of home décor!

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