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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...Aeon Flux!

Not screened for any reviewers in advance of its release, Aeon Flux earned an immediate first strike against it. The second strike was unintentional, considering that we sent the family out to review it without checking to see whether it was playing at the local theater for the press. It wasn't. Oops!

Sis: It's flippin' freezing out here! Can we just leave? Even the coffee I wanted to sneak in got frozen! Coffee!

Mom: Did you think movie reviewing was supposed to be easy? Do you know how hard people work at this? Do you know how many people would kill us to get this job? Hard people, little girl. Hard people.

Bro: I heard Roger Ebert's part of a secret movie reviewers society where they brand your butt with a filmstrip and whip you if you can't name all the movies made by Norwegian people.

Dad: It's probably much simpler than that. I'll bet he backed into a film projector by accident and whips himself when people write to point out errors in his reviews. I know I do.

Baby: I went from "Not as good as I hoped" to "Not as bad as I feared" on this one. If that's what Mom and Dad mean by "Damning with faint praise," then I finally might be getting the hang of the whole word thing. Now maybe I can focus on the pronunciation thing.

Verdict: For Bill Maher's private video collection, and bored teenagers who yearn for the summer blockbuster as winter begins to take hold.


Need a second opinion? Check out the trailer and a different take on the movie by the eminent and learned Brian Briggs at BBspot.com!

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