A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...24: Season 5, Episodes 1 and 2!

Since January is traditionally the month o' movie dreck, the Family decided to stay home and watch Sunday's two-hour season premiere of Fox's 24. From the family room in the comfort of their finished basement, they put Baby in the Pack 'n Play® behind the couch and settled in for some viewer-discretion-advised action.

Bro, 7:13 A.M.: These writers are evil! They'll kill anyone! I thought Jack Bauer was a bad mother shut-your-mouth, but whoever wrote this is off the dizzle!

Sis, 7:39 A.M.: He's gonna steal a helicopter?! Oh, like no one's gonna notice that's missing. So, I guess we can say we all saw 24 jump the shark together.

Dad, 8:16 A.M.: He's going into a building with 167 agents, and his disguise is sunglasses. Who does he think he is, Neo? This isn't The Matrix, Kiefer, I don't care how good you are!

Mom, 8:56 A.M.: "The intel must have been wrong," Buchanan says. What an idiot! It's never where they think it's going to be. I've only been watching this for four seasons, but these characters have been living it. You'd think they'd get a clue by now!

Baby: I may not have seen it, but I heard it, and I still filled my diaper over it. As long as the writers don't put any mountain lions in this season, I'll follow them wherever they can dream of taking it.

Verdict: It's a slam-bang start to a season that features a seriously kooky President and First Lady for added psychodrama. Booyakasha!


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