Bambi's Dad Gets Pancaked by Concrete Mixer in Much-Anticipated Bambi II
Hollywood insiders have revealed that Bambi II, the much ballyhooed sequel to the American classic, does not stray far from the original emotional formula that touched the heart of millions.
As an example, it's been leaked that Bambi's dad, The Great Prince, is run down by an out-of-control cement truck at the 30-minute mark of the movie. That the cement truck comes out of nowhere, as Bambi and his father frolic in the middle of the forest, adds to the shock and anguish of the scene. Bambi is left a true orphan, contemplating his father's mangled, twitching carcass as buzzards gather overhead.
"We thought about having him shot by a hunter, like Bambi's Mom, but it felt trite," said one studio insider who was close to the project. "We also considered having Bambi's Dad contract HIV after a night of questionable decisions at a Deer/Elk Forest Mixer. But when someone suggested the cement truck, we all fell in love with the utter unexpectedness of it."
Studio execs predicted that moms, many of whom were emotionally scarred by the death of Bambi's mom in the original film, would appreciate a similarly jarring scene of senseless loss for their children.
"Hey, life sucks," said one mom who screened the film for the studio. "One minute you're chasing butterflies in an idyllic pasture, the next you're marveling at your spleen as you take your last gasp. The sooner the little rugrats learn it, the better."
Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!