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The Health Report: Xanax Is NOT a Painkiller, Charlie Sheen!
A recent court document filed by "actress" Denise Richards charges her estranged husband, actor Charlie Sheen, of abusing the painkiller Xanax. The AMA and the WME have stepped into the fray, identifying numerous untruths in the document.
"The most vile and slanderous statement in Ms. Richards document is her declaration that Xanax is a painkiller, when in fact it is an anti-anxiety medication," declared J. Edward Hill, M.D., president of the AMA.
"Millions of people suffer from anxiety, and to callously accuse Xanax of being in a group of opiates and opiate-derivative drugs is dangerous and DOWNRIGHT MEAN. Xanax, along with Klonopin and Valium, belong to the benzodiazepine group, and are not related to opiates in any way.
"Percodan, Vicodin, OxyContin, and heroin are opiates. Not Xanax.
"Benzodiazepines do not produce euphoria or drug seeking behavior, and it is hateful to call people who suffer from anxiety and use Xanax to relieve anxiety drug addicts, when they are simply sensitive people who often have a little too much on their plates, and can get overwhelmed from time to time.
"Mr. Sheen is a perfect example. It is reported he works twelve to fifteen hour days, has a long commute home, where he then has to troll for porn on the Internet, hit and threaten his wife, make numerous phone calls to bookies and hookers, then wake up at the crack of dawn to be at work by 6:00am.
"It's a lot to accomplish in twenty-four hours, and Mr. Sheen has to do it every single day. He is a very busy man, and it is only natural that he would suffer from anxiety. We at the AMA applaud him for choosing the correct medication to deal with it. That medication is Xanax.
"But let me make this very clear - Mr. Sheen does NOT need a painkiller. She has left him. The pain is gone.
"Questions, anyone?"
Something strange is going on inside the White House - does the Weapons of Mass Euphoria Team have the cure, or are they the culprits? Check out the reports from deep inside the WME.
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