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A Dysfunctional Family of Five Reviews...The Da Vinci Code!
May 19 2006 by Allen VoivodAs you may have noticed, Ron Howard and Tom Hanks, in all their everymen glory, just unveiled their take on the bestselling sacrilege of recent yore. DeadBrain braved the wrath of Catholic League president William Donohue to send the Dysfunctional Family to see Dan Brown's thriller-cum-blockbuster.
Bro: Is the Catholic League gonna get mad at us for reviewing this movie? I hope not - their president scares me. He looks like he'd come out of the closet in the middle of the night to hex me with that naked hippie on the X.
Sis: That naked hippie was hot, remember from that snuff movie? Anyway, that Catholic League guy looks more like the lifeguard at the city pool who tried to get you to shrink your official "bathing suit area."
Dad: Kids, we should be so lucky to have ol' "Sweet Lips" Donohue after us. You can't buy that kind of press. Unless you're the Catholic League, of course. They could buy their way into a Boy Scout pajama party.
Mom: Hey, it's that girl from Amelie! I loved that movie! [Sat in silence for the rest of the evening, resenting the fact that The Da Vinci Code was no Amelie.]
Baby: The secret agenda: undermine The Da Vinci Code by making a crappy movie out of it! Of course, if you're like me, even something as mundane as eating becomes a conspiracy. Like, how can meat come in a paste? There's something suspicious going on there.
Verdict: The trailer makes it look more exiting than it is. Bastard trailer maker. Wait for a cheap rental on a night when you're bored.
Need a second opinion? Check out the trailer and a different take on the movie by the eminent and learned Brian Briggs at BBspot.com!
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