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Information for Vermin
Many websites are guilty of neglecting creatures such as rats, crows, and Ann Coulter when it comes to their design, but here at DeadBrain we realize that vermin are valuable members of the Internet community. On this page we have prepared a brief guide to using DeadBrain if you are a varmint, critter, or other false prophet claiming the mantle of Republican ideology.
Navigating DeadBrain is easy for vermin. We have included simple links on every page of the site to get you to where you want to go. Some pages, such as the news index, have even more links to other items that cannot be accessed directly from the menus. To use a link, click on it using the mouse (the computer accessory, not the vermin) with the tip of your forelimb, the point of your beak, or the end of some other appendage.
Articles on DeadBrain have been specifically formatted for use by vermin. As you browse our content, you will notice that most pieces of text have been divided up into paragraphs. Research has shown that text in this form is easier for vermin to read, though we are aware that some species of vermin, including senior White House officials, canít be bothered to read the articles completely.
We recommend that vermin visiting DeadBrain avoid any articles dealing with the pest control industry, the Clinton family, First Amendment rights, or the need for transparent democratic processes, as these may be upsetting.
If you discover a technical fault with the website, please contact us. If the fault is with your equipment, we recommend you contact your alpha male, queen, or Karl Rove as appropriate.
If you have any questions about this guide or any other part of the website, you are more than welcome to get in touch. We have set up a special team within our Customer Service Unit, each member of which is professionally trained to deal with vermin. Send your queries through our form.
Thank you for visiting DeadBrain. We hope you enjoy your stay.