Satirists Guild Calls for Attacks on Democrats, Political Commentators
Aug 17 2003 by Allen Voivod
Speaking from the International Satirists Guild headquarters in Oslo, Norway, Guild President Douglass Ramssmullett took the Guild's US members to task for satirical laziness.
"By Odin's beard, in 263 years we've never had such easy targets," Ramssmullett said of the Bush administration. "It's making us lazy! Dick Gephardt wants to use presidential executive orders to override the Supreme Court! We can mock him for that. John Edwards, the senator from North Carolina? Mix him up with the guy who talks to dead people! Al Sharpton? How about that whole Tawana Brawley fiasco? Come on, people!"
"We're leaving the attacks on Democrats to those humorless bastards, the pundits!" Ramssmullett continued. "O'Reilly, Coulter, Limbaugh – those screaming, egomaniacal, witless bags of DNA and broccoli gas!"
Ramssmullett then upped the ante by calling for attacks on the political commentators themselves, taking the Guild's most vehement anti-pundit stance in nearly a century. "Satire is our weapon! We must use it equally – against Democrats, Republicans, and any political pundit who dares to invade our satirical territory!"
The anti-pundit movement within the Guild last reached its height in 1921, when Mexican satirists were silent in the face of government corruption and the political commentators benefiting from it. Then-Guild President Federico Butlerón used the Mexican situation to stir up an anti-pundit frenzy. Riots broke out at Mexican embassies in 119 countries, and 844 known pundits were slapped roundly about the face by satirists, a custom dating back to the Norse origins of the Guild. Butlerón was eventually forced to step down after two failed assassination attempts by pro-pundit satirists.