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| You have landed on top of: Home > Global News | January 6th |
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 Hurricane Isabel Aftermath: Bush Blames al-Qaeda Sep 24 2003 by Ryan Gerossie In a press conference today, President Bush vowed vengeance against the people he believes sent us the storm that devastated the East Coast over the weekend. “It’s those dirty terrorists!” Bush exclaimed. “Boy, it makes me mad. North Carolina was a place I planned on vacationing, too, just before the next big battle over in Iraq. First North Carolina, then Virginia, what’s next, Texas? Boy, this really sticks in my craw!” Interns in the White House confided to DeadBrain reporters that Bush could be heard rambling on and on about 9/11 and how Isabel was the next big attack, the one we’ve feared since that tragic day. “I know how they did it too,” they reported hearing Bush say. “They got hidden hurricane factories! I bet they whipped this attack up in forty-five minutes flat. Special terrorist hurricane cells, that’s the ticket.” Bush cites wide scale power failures as his major tip off. “They disabled the upper east coast (referring to the recent blackout which began in Ohio), and now they’ve moved to the lower. Cutting off our power has been their MI for the past few months!” “Uhh, don’t you mean MO?” one reporter asked. But a confused expression was all he received. “I’ll tell you one thing,” the leader of the free world and all its forces finally stammered, “This attack on our people will not go unpunished. The whole world will know our might once we identify the individuals responsible. Now I’m not pointing any fingers, but Libya is really starting to cop an attitude, if you know what I mean.” When asked their opinion on the whole “terrorist sent storm theory,” the National Weather Service had this to say: “Are-are you crazy?” Related Articles Spam is Winning the War on Terrorism Sep 20 2003 Anonymous "Dick" Leaks New Draft of Bush's “Road Map to Peace” Sep 18 2003 New al-Jazeera TV Show Premieres -- "Bush Unplugged" Sep 12 2003 Secret Service Employs Sex Doll to Train for Presidential Choking Event Sep 5 2003 U.S. Seeks Coalition, U.N. Aid in Deficit Crunch Aug 31 2003 Power Outage Traced to Amish "Evangelistic Crusade" 19 Aug 2003
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