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| You smell better than: Home > Global News | November 18th |
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 Wolfowitz Shaken, Not Stirred, by Rocket Attack Nov 1 2003 by Ross Bender Deputy Defense Secretary Paul "Wolfman" Wolfowitz was shaken, but not stirred, in an attack on the Al Rashid Hotel in Baghdad Sunday. In a press conference, a visibly shaken but defiant Wolfowitz stated, "Nyah, nyah, ya missed me, ya gook creeps!" The Al Rashid is an American stronghold and was considered one of the most securely protected American headquarters in the city. Wolfowitz was staying in the floor above the one devastated by the assault. The rocket attack was carried out by unnamed guerillas, who towed a blue trailer full of Russian and French style missiles into the plaza in front of the hotel Sunday morning and then opened fire. French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin denied any French responsibility for the attack, although American munitions experts who captured some of the unexploded rockets said that they were clearly stamped "Made in La France." Russian President Vladimir Putin also professed ignorance as to how the Russian Katyusha rockets used in the attack had made their way into Iraq. Brig. Gen. Martin E. Dempsey, commander of the First Armored Division, whose responsibility is the security of Baghdad, spoke Sunday evening at a news conference and described the missiles used in the attack as "clever, but not sophisticated." He called the blue trailer, which held 40 missile pods, "a science project in a garage with a welder and a battery and a handful of wires" and cited evidence that security in Iraq was actually improving. The guerrilla attacks devastated a Red Cross headquarters in Baghdad, three Iraqi police stations, the YMCA, Boy Scout headquarters, and a McDonalds. American Pro-Consul Paul Bremer immediately pointed to these strikes as "the best evidence yet that we are making progress." But he also cited concerns that Muslim fighters from Syria, the Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Marseilles, Vladivostok, Oxford and Cambridge, Rheims, Warsaw, Central Java, and New Hampshire were "infiltrating" into Iraq. President Bush, on a sex tour in Thailand, commented: "Bring 'em on! Yeah, baby! Shagedelic!" Related Articles Rummy Proposes Exorcism Intelligence Agency to Fight Islam Oct 26 2003 More Loony Right Wing Commentators Arrested Oct 18 2003 David Blaine Video Feed Roots Out Iraqi Guerrillas Oct 14 2003 Bush Suspects Leaking Leaker May Not Be Found Oct 12 2003 Former Lutheran Chinese Islamic Army Chaplain Arrested 25 Sep 2003 Hurricane Isabel Aftermath: Bush Blames al-Qaeda Sep 24 2003
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