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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Bill Clinton |
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| You have been disturbed by: Home > News | October 12th |
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 Bush and Blair Discuss Short-Hair Removal as Punishment for SaddamFeb 2 2004 by Charlie Huschle
DeadBrain has learned that in a closed, back-room meeting yesterday, Prime Minister Tony Blair and President George Bush met with Britain's top estheticians to discuss hair-removal techniques.Not present at the Downing Street discussion was Kofi Annan. "What were they talking about?" he asked rhetorically. "Obviously it had to do with Saddam Hussein. And why wasn't the UN invited? We're not hirsute enough for them?" Speaking on condition of anonymity, "Rick," a Scottish cosmetologist who attended the secret meeting, said, "I've never seen such rugs of pubic hair in my life." Pressed for further details, Rick described a meeting in which products with names like Nudess, Clean and Easy, Muff-Away, and Touchme Sugaring Gel were freely discussed. "They let some of the women try out the products on them. Hairy beasts, they were. Bush and Blair, too. "I always recommend a good hard wax," Rick continued. "But these laddies wanted to know which would cause the most pain, which was very odd. I told them that in the Middle East, they do stringing, which might be more up their alley." Stringing is a process in which several strands of hair are tied together with a fine thread, which is then pulled swiftly away, effectively removing the hair by its follicles. "This would be what Saddam's wives probably used," said Rick. "I canna but imagine they want to wax Saddam's ass," he added in a distinctive, heavy brogue. "So to speak." Sources close to the Prime Minister indicated that he and Mr. Bush were disinclined to bring Saddam to court, preferring instead to mete out punishment personally, from behind [the scene]. Related Articles Bush Makes It Crystal Clear Why We Attacked Iraq - Because There Was Tomfoolery Afoot! Jan 25 2004 Airlines Turn Over Mile-High Club Passenger Data to Federal Government Jan 19 2004 DeadBrain, at US Army's Request, Reports on Iraq's Shiny, Happy People Jan 13 2004 Terrorist Almanac Reader Cell Busted Jan 10 2004 Media in Iraq Ordered to Report from Army News Handouts Only or Be Shot Jan 7 2004 Exclusive: Bush Foreign Policy Based on Lousy Star Wars Script Jan 3 2004
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