Schwarzenegger Crushes Legislator's Head Like a Grape
Former movie star and current California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger took the unusual step of annihilating State Senator Morgan Fanberg (D-Santa Ana) with his bare hands today on the steps of the Capitol Building in Sacramento.
While the move is thought to be without precedent in common law, onlookers were awed by the raw strength of California's Chief Executive. "Wow, that was so cool, man. The Terminator just got really pissed, grabbed the guy's head and the thing burst like a bad tomato. [Former Governor] Gray Davis never would have done that. So cool," said Avetus Arturus, employee at Starbucks.
According to those that witnessed the spectacle, Governor Schwarzenegger then proceeded to tear off his shirt, pound his chest and motioned for other state lawmakers to "Bring it on - or be Filibusted."
Controversy began late Wednesday, as Senate Democrats passed a bill allowing employees to sue employers over labor violations. Senate Democrats quickly passed the bill and Republicans, flustered, immediately sent an aide to Schwarzenegger's plush mansion.
Enraged by what he called "an open revolt on my law," Schwarzenegger appeared ten minutes later on the State House steps, calling out "gurlly-man" Fanberg in an awesome display of raw, extreme strength.
Republicans lauded the move as a step in the right direction. "Employees need not sue their employers...and what better way to say that than a decapitation," said Fred Butler (R-Newport Beach). Democrats were unavailable for comment.
The bill is expected to be vetoed by the Governor.