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President Fingers Wife for Porn Job
In the wake of Dick Cheney's 9th heart attack and Colin Powell's announcement to step down as Secretary of State, President Bush has chosen First Lady Laura Bush to become the nation's first Porn Czarina.
As promised, President Bush will introduce anti-pornography legislation when Congress convenes next term. The President made this campaign promise in the wake of a poll suggesting American's were more obsessed with sex than his War on Terror. Having won the election, Mr. Bush will now make introduction of the anti-porn bill his first official act after January's inauguration.
Without going into details and refusing to answer questions, Mrs. Bush did outline her agenda. "Before I draft legislation for a constitutional amendment we need a new standard. Right now we have X, XXX, and Gonzo. Even soft core has elements of DP or snowballing. The rating system is just too vague and I think it leaves Congressmen in the dark about who to discriminate against."
"Mrs. Bush is viewing the materials and being very selective," said a member of her taskforce, Senator Hillary R. Clinton (D-NY). "She's no novice. Frankly, her familiarity with the nomenclature is disturbing."
The President has also vowed to use his political capital to challenge the authority of the Constitution, particularly the Separation of Powers, and will begin a campaign to rescind the 21st and 22nd Amendments.
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