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  War on America

Turmoil During Sunday's Iraqi Election!

Our DeadBrain reporter in Baghdad filed this underground, shocking report...

Millions of Iraqis were disenfranchised in Iraq on Sunday by hundreds of Republican challengers who'd volunteered to monitor the election. The challengers, all from Florida and Ohio, were supposed to help keep the elections honest, but instead they challenged every Iraqi citizen's right to vote.

Mr. Masood, a Baghdad election judge said, "The Republican challengers even grilled wheelchair-bound voters: 'Show me some identification!'...'How do I know you're not an Iranian terrorist?'...'Are you sitting on a homemade bomb?' I told them politely to stop interrogating the voters, because they're turning almost everyone away, but they told me to shut up. They said they knew what they were doing.

"Oh, it got bad...really bad! A heavy truck with a Halliburton logo pulled up, and some burly contractors unloaded four Diebold electronic voting machines. I told them we can't use them, but they pushed past me and set them up. A little old Iraqi lady with an American flag sewn on her burqa was the first person to try a machine, and she came out screaming saying that all the buttons had Prime Minister Iyad Allawi's name by them.

"One man using a machine gave a high-pitched cry and fell out of the booth. He'd been electrocuted.

"Another machine caught on fire.

"Near the end of the day, two men in Iraqi garb with automatic rifles who were plainly al-Qaeda arrived. The challengers smiled, patted them on the back and waved them through. I whispered to the challengers that guns weren't allowed in the polling place, and they said, 'Hey, we're not gonna mess with those guys!' I told them to summon Iraqi security. Instead, the challengers went white and dashed across the street to Youssef's Cold Beer and Starbucks shop.

"I don't have to tell you that the armed al-Qaeda shot up the polling place, do I? I was wounded. But, before I passed out, I heard a bullet-riddled Diebold machine start an audio recording of 'The Star-Spangled Banner' with President Bush proclaiming, 'Freedom's on the march in Iraq!'"

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