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  You feel threatened by: Home > NewsApril 17th 
  War on America

Anti-Bush Bumper Sticker Leads to Threat of Iraq Duty or RNC Bathroom Duty

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Extra crispy, dude!
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Okay, you did NOT just say that about my mother!
You're frickin' lucky you live in another state!
A Colorado woman threatened with arrest for displaying a "F--- Bush" bumper sticker on her truck has been given two choices: three years in Iraq or ten years scrubbing toilets at the Republican National Committee headquarters.

The police officer who made the arrest threats will be awarded various medals and honors from President George W. Bush, who has imposed a zero tolerance policy for criticism in his second term.

"First Amendment? What's that?" Bush said when told of the bumper sticker. "She said she disagreed with my positions on homosexuality and other issues.

"This administration will allow no dissent, none whatsoever - especially on a truck, a favored vehicle of the Bushes and so many patriots in the great state of Texas and elsewhere," Bush said.

The president said he thought the choice of either Iraq or scrubbing toilets was "exceedingly fair. It's not as though she was going to be thrown in prison or anything, although she could have ended up in jail if she'd gotten arrested."

Bush said the United States "needs all the help we can get in Iraq. Soldiers are getting killed every day. I figured it would be a patriotic thing for this person to serve her country, instead of denigrating me.

"Let's face it, we're going to be in Iraq for awhile, elections or no elections. The least she could do is help us out. But if she wants to clean toilets, fine. We need to send a message about dissent."

ACLU spokesman Walter R. Kinnebrew called the choices "outrageous. Granted, it wasn't the most tasteful bumper sticker of all time. But the First Amendment still exists, or at least I think it does.

"By the time the next four years are over, maybe it won't," Kinnebrew said. "A bumper sticker is harmless. What is this country coming to? What's next, an attack on SpongeBob Squarepants? Hiring only cabinet officials where no one disagrees with administration policy?

"Wait, never mind."

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