Donald Rumsfeld and Spider-Man Want to Save the World?

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld bristled with anger after critics said his Pentagon photo op with Spider-Man and Captain America trivialized the deaths and injuries of U.S troops in Iraq.

"Only complete knuckleheads would say something like that," said Rumsfeld, who was photographed while flexing his muscles with Spider-Man and Captain America. (Obviously, that happened in some other photo. - Ed.) "OK, maybe it was a little tacky and insensitive. But still…

"Marvel Comics was gracious enough to join me in the 'America Supports You' efforts to send one million comic books worldwide to U.S troops. If there's one thing all the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan - remember them? - need, it's a chance to laugh a little,'' Rumsfeld said. "What better way to do it than to send them comic books?

"It's way better than, say, sending blonde stretch wigs or leftover Trivial Pursuit games to tsunami victims - not that we would do that, or even think about it."

Rumsfeld said he's absorbed major criticism for issues such as U.S. troops not having adequate equipment, among other things.

"But equipment costs money, often in the millions of dollars," Rumsfeld said. "And we don't have that kind of money just to throw around. Marvel Comics was patriotic enough to step into the void."

Rumsfeld said if the America Supports You program is successful - "and there's no reason it shouldn't be" - then he plans to expand to other comic book and cartoon characters.

"What would be better after a hard day of fighting insurgents in Iraq to come back to the tent and see, for example, Bart Simpson? Or Beavis and Butthead? Or Mighty Mouse, coming to save the day?

"If Disney would get involved, the Magic Kingdom could be at our fingertips - Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Pluto, all the universally loved characters. We were hoping to get Superman, but with Christopher Reeve dying and all, we figured that would be in more than a little bit of poor taste. We don't want to give off the image of death."


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