Gas Mileage Study: Automakers Say Cars Do Poorly in Water
In a recent study released by automakers, it was revealed that the gas mileage of cars and light trucks is even worse in water.
The research claims that attempting to drive off a bridge into a canal, lake, river or harbor will not increase gas mileage, but rather cause catastrophic damage to the vehicle all together.
While driving on water may seem strange in theory, it is not entirely untested. Back in the 1990s a woman from Union, South Carolina tried driving off of a boat landing into a local lake. Her name was Susan Smith, and although she was later convicted of murdering her two young sons who were strapped into their car seats, she kept the idea of extended hydro gas mileage alive in the U.S.
Even the government has conducted its own fact finding studies. Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy drove off a bridge near Chappaquiddick Island to see if his car would get better mileage under water. Unfortunately, that little research trip also ended in tragedy when Ted forgot to tell girlfriend Mary Jo Kopechne of the test until it was too late for her to swim to the surface. Some say that test was invalidated by Senator Kennedy's failure to report his findings until the following day, after he had sobered up.
Even Hollywood has gotten involved in this controversial fuel saving method. "Joel" in Risky Business attempts to get better mileage out of his father's Porsche 928 by dunking it in to Lake Michigan. Hollywood gets this one right, however, with a large repair bill for the Princeton-bound youth.
Check for our report next week: "Why the U.S. Navy doesn't have any ships in Nebraska."
Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!