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Remaining Aruban Male Not Arrested in Holloway Case Feeling "Left Out"

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How did YOU mark the anniversary of Holloway's disappearance?
With a cold beer and the new issue of Maxim
With hot tea and the latest issue of Family Circle
Who now?
With a letter to the TV stations saying "SHUT UP!"
By all appearances, Karl Vanderhoofenswagen is an unassuming fisherman on the island of Aruba.

He's also the only male on the island who has not been arrested in connection with the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, who was last seen on May 30, 2005.

Vanderhoofenswagen says he's miffed at being overlooked, and is considering filing a lawsuit demanding his arrest and questioning.

"This is a small island, and people talk. I hear the whispering. 'Vanderhoofenswagen wouldn't hurt a fly. Vanderhoofenswagen only likes fish and boys.' Well, I'm not going to stand for it. I'm a man who's quite capable of dangerous acts. Just the other day, I caught a bluefish that was an inch under the minimum size. What did I do? I kept him. I'm crazy as a loon sometimes."

Aruban authorities remain adamant that Vanderhoofenswagen is not a suspect.

"Mr. Sissywagen is currently not a person of interest," said prosecutor Klaus von Clogdike. "We do not intend to arrest the girly man at this time, despite the fact that he is the only male on Aruba we have not arrested. Or perhaps I should say, alleged male."




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