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Pat Robertson Sets Weight-Lifting Record With God as Spotter
The Reverend Pat Robertson claims to have performed the incredible strength feat of leg-pressing 2000 pounds on an exercise machine.
Robertson said he developed his unbelievable leg strength by doing deep squats with Jerry Falwell sitting on his shoulders.
An elder at the Steroidian Council, a watchdog group that investigates weight-lifting records, scoffed at Robertson's claim.
"They ain't no way no rich preacher lifted no 2000 pounds," sneered Buns Bigalow, former world-record holder in the Volkswagen Toss. "He'da had to take enough steroids to baptize a elephant!"
Robertson employees back up the controversial minister's claim. They say Pat gutted up the ton of weight on the leg press shortly after God spoke to him, warning of an imminent tsunami striking the United States, as well as once again casting aspersions toward male dancers and interior decorators.
"Haw-haw," Buns Bigalow chortled sarcastically. "If Brother Robertson got under a leg press with 2000 pounds on it, that waddn't the Lord he heard speaking. That wuz his rectum begging for mercy!"
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