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| You are staring at: Home > News | May 23rd |
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Company Offers New Hair Replacement OptionJan 1 2007 by Mark Garrison
A US based hair replacement company announced it's launching a new line of hair replacement products. The new product will utilize men's groin hair as an option to replace the hair on their balding heads. An average of three out of ten adult males suffer hair loss all over the world. The situation is getting so desperate for some men that this may be their only chance for a full head of hair. Company President Ralph Harrison told members of the press after the launch that, "pubic hair, while a bit unorthodox, is a perfectly safe and common sense form of head hair replacement." However, the marketing aspect of this new venture offers a challenging endeavor. "While it is a bit hard to style this type of hair, it's better than being a bald loser," stated Harrison. Discussing the popularity of this hair replacement procedure, Harrison claimed that it is "the easiest way for a white guy to get an Afro." According to Harrison their most popular style is presently the Afro. It seems the Afro is the most affordable style, since the hair does not need to be extensively altered. "Our goal is to make hair loss solutions available to everybody who is suffering from this horrible disease," he added. When reminded that hair loss is not a disease, Harrison immediately took a swig from a silver flask, put one of his pubic hair Afro wigs on, stared our reporter in the eyes and said, "Tell that to my dad." While this procedure is considered non-surgical, it doesn't come without the potential for complications. Certain subjects reported that their new head hair frequently became stuck on other people's heads. Doctors say this is the "Velcro effect," and they are working hard to diminish this side effect. "You can get the replacement done in only 25 sessions," Harrison claimed. "This may seem like quite a lot; however we are using your pubes and it costs $99.95, what do you expect?" added Harrison. Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
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