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| You smell better than: Home > Politics | September 3rd |
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 "None of the Above" Added to Presidential BallotJul 20 2004 by Greg Kuhl
The U.S. Supreme Court decision allowing None on the ballot sent shock waves through the Republican and Democratic party camps, who fear that the political novice may defeat President George W. Bush and Sen. John Kerry in November. "This is an outrage," Bush and Kerry said today in an unprecedented joint statement in the wake of the high court's decision. "It was bad enough for the Republic to have Ralph Nader and other minor threats, er, candidates as options. "But we could beat them easily," Bush and Kerry asserted. "With this None guy, we're not so sure." None of the Above, whose birth name was Chadwick Lippincott Boccabella III, changed his moniker after a life of being teased at school and in the workplace. Even his nickname, Chico, didn't stop the taunts. "I just got sick of it," None said. "I wanted to show people that my name was none of the names I got from my parents. It wasn't as though I intended to run for president. I mean, I've only voted twice. But, hey, I changed my name in '72. It wasn't like I did it to dis Bush and Kerry." None worked as a welder the past 32 years, but friends in his shop - after seeing the widespread dissatisfaction with Bush and Kerry - suggested that he explore a run for president. "It sounded like a good idea, so why not?" None said. "I wish I'd have gotten on the ballot when Nixon ran in '72. But isn't it ironic that the same Supreme Court that gave the presidency to Bush in 2000 could be the same one that takes it away in 2004?" None said, with a grin and a twinkle in his eye. Related Articles Bush Dumps Dick; Tags Mary, Jenna for Dual Veep Action Jul 19 2004
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