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President Bush Dumps Laura, Claiming Need for a Son to Carry on His Legacy - Part 1
In an anticipated post-election move geared to extend the House of Bush into the distant political future, George W. Bush has petitioned dominant religious leaders to grant dissolution of his marriage to Laura of Welch.
"I like the story Tony Blair told me about them 'Plant-a-gents' and how they ruled England for two hundred years," said the President while talking to reporters after reading his new favorite book, Pet My Goat.
In the new vernacular, Bush, warned by his father of a possible Northern rebellion after the close Battle of Ohio against JFK The Lesser, has ordered the Congress Of Commons to pass his "Survey Of The Realm Act," designed to seek the fairest of the fair to offset the propagation gap of the House of Kennedy.
Bush has been inspired by the exploits of the English King Henry VIII; the need to "make permanent" the revolution started by [King] Reagan; and fears that the House of Kennedy may reemerge. Bush is currently ignoring a possible Welch rebellion.
Bush is further confronted by a powerful foreign-born Governor of a large far-flung Western Province, promoting the dual heresies of same sex marriage and stem-cell research. Bush has cited that Governor's marriage to a member of the House of Kennedy as an early warning sign.
"We need to curry favor among the religious hierarchy," advises Cardinal Rove. "A male heir would do that."
Be sure to read Part 2 of this amazing breaking fake news story!
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