| |
President Bush Dumps Laura, Claiming Need for a Son to Carry on His Legacy - Part 2
In Part 1 of this breaking fake news exclusive, we learned that President Bush is petitioning dominant religious leaders to grant dissolution of his marriage to Laura of Welch. Now, we learn more about Bush's plans to find a woman who could give him a male heir.
Though Conda Lisa-Simpson Rice has been mentioned, the Cardinal has counseled against it, citing potential revolt among the Southern Earls. "Though some of the Dukes under the thumb of Boss 'Hogg At The Trough' might go along, the long-term risk is too high." he said, adding, "The Kudzu Crowds would not stand for it."
It had long been known that Laura of Welch had maneuvered to 'relocate' Rice out of the main palace to dispel inconvenient rumors. Cardinal Rove also has been noticeably silent, lending to the speculation that he too felt Lisa-Simpson Rice had become too powerful.
Giving her the post vacated by a popular Knight Of State, who had proven himself on the fields of battle, is not only seen as a reward for fealty to the House of Bush but as a warning to those who would cross him.
Bush, however, has summoned the House of Twain to present the former Regina of the House of Edwards, the fair Shania, by offering lands and tax breaks.
"Hearty peasant stock," said Cardinal Rove. "Such a union would clearly solidify the shires flying The Red Flag and would offset future accession plans of the House of [John] Edwards, a former lieutenant of JFK The Lesser."
When confronted with the fact that the fairest of the House of Twain was married, Bush countered, "I got a mandate. I can do anything I want. And she better not be related to the House of Dixie," warned Bush.
In a related story, the White House menu now includes fish n' chips, plum porridge and other English delicacies. Humble pie, however, is off the menu.
|
|
