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Attack on Iran "Preposterous" - Iranians Urged to Ignore the American Tanks in Their Cities

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Did YOU see the tanks in Iran?
I deny it
I reject it
Instantly get out of my sight
Shut up you asinine ape
You are a heathen, sir
The message about a possible attack on Iran was clear from the White House: "Wild speculation," George Bush called it; Rumsfeld preferred "fantasy land speculation." In a news conference today, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow updated the Administration's stance on the issue.

"We continue to believe that an attack on Iran is preposterous," Snow stated. "And so therefore, we would like to urge all Iranians to ignore the American tanks rumbling towards Tehran. We're not saying there will be any tanks, but if there are, they'll just be performing training maneuvers and there is nothing to worry about."

Snow stopped to show a short clip from the Clint Eastwood movie Kelly's Heroes. The clip showed a tank firing a shell and hitting another tank with a paint pellet. "Just like in this movie, our tanks will be loaded with paint shells, to help spread peace and joy throughout Iran. Certainly not to harm anyone.

"Furthermore, any American planes flying overhead are merely scouts, looking for the best places to drop humanitarian supplies. They may look like fighter jets, but really, they're just scouts. Honest. Have no fear, Iranians, we're here to help you, not harm you. Pay no attention to what our liberal media says."

The liberal media wouldn't comment, stating, "We're too busy waiting for the latest news regarding Katie Holmes' silent birth."

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