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Ann Coulter Dying: Pelosium-110 Suspected
Conservative pundit Ann Coulter has been admitted to George Washington Medical Center covered in her own bile with a condition called 'verbus diarrheus'.
Doctors in attendance, though initially repulsed, have been trying to give Ms. Coulter water, which she continues to reject, claiming it was fluoridated. "A Communist plot from the 1950's," she is said to have garbled.
"This is something you only see in text books," said Dr. Herbert Freedkin.
The condition is described as the side effect of a rare element, Pelosium-110, causing brain alteration in chronically degenerative cognitive dissonant persons.
"We have diagnosed Ms. Coulter as a 'class A' cognitive dissonant, and as such a strong dose of Pelosium-110 could lead to a heighten state of 'verbus,' which could be fatal," continued Freedman.
Ms. Coulter is currently in isolation. "To protect the rest of the hospital," said Dr. Freedman.
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