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DeadBrain US Gets Hip to Smart Link Technology
Mar 11 2004 by Allen Voivod
So maybe you've been asking yourself, "Self, I says, Self, what's with the funny line under the first appearance of a person's name in the DeadBrain articles I've come to know and love and wait desperately for each and every day?"
Well, Self, that's Smart Link Technology in action! As we continue to browbeat the people most worthy of our attention, the little bits and bytes and boops and bops of the computer world keep track of our targets and create special pages on DeadBrain dedicated to those unfortunate souls. So if you're feeling particularly aggravated by, say, George W. Bush, just click on his name when you see the funny line underneath it. Then you'll be automagically transported to a page filled with links to vitriol directed specifically at the Chickenhawk-in-Chief. Ahh, sweet release!
When our programmers complained about repetitive stress injuries after adding this functionality to the site, members of the board of directors asked them, "How come you never hear about pianists complaining over repetitive stress injuries? If they can play keyboards all their lives without any problems, why can't you?" Sufficiently flummoxed, the programmers returned to their junkyard cubicles. I just try to stay out of these exchanges, and my life is much happier that way.
We'll be going back through the archives over the coming weeks to add older articles to the Smart Link Technology database, so stay tuned into DeadBrain as this exciting breakthrough becomes more and more exciting! It'll be so exciting that you'll be compelled to run around in circles until you smack into a door frame and knock yourself senseless. Then maybe you'll stop talking to yourself, Mr. or Ms. Multiple-Personality Disorder.
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