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| You just fell over: Home > Sport | August 30th |
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 DeadBrain Time Machine: Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction Streak ContinuesFeb 5 2005 by Elliott McMillan
"I don't know what happened," said a confused McCartney. "We made sure that my zipper was all the way up and that my belt was secured tightly before I went out. Maybe the clasp wasn't as tight as we thought. Maybe the zipper had missing teeth. I don't know." NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue is said to be livid. Sources close to the Commissioner quote him as saying, "Two years in a row we've had some kind of trouble on the halftime show. We thought that bringing in an older entertainer would curtail such activity, but I guess the popular musicians are all the same." As the Commissioner stormed away from the madding media, he was heard to say, "I knew we should have gotten John Tesh." Davenport, Iowa woman Peggy Grunwald was watching with her family when the exposure occurred. "I was sitting on the couch watching the game, and it just...popped out. My daughter said, 'Is that his...' and I immediately covered my younger daughter's eyes with my hand. My husband spit his beer all over the table, causing a big mess," said the 50 year old mother of four. With a tear forming in the corner of one eye she said, "35 years ago, I would have loved to see his unit, but not now. Jesus, not now!" Next year's halftime headliner is yet to be determined, but the Commissioner is believed to leaning toward a 30-minute moment of silence in observance of everyone who has ever died anywhere at any time. A press release from McCartney stated that he is considering legal action against the manufacturers of his belt, as well as the makers of his pants and the zipper. A representative from the belt maker said, "There wouldn't have been a problem if he had worn underwear." Related Articles DeadBrain Time Machine: Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction Streak Continues Feb 5 2005
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