| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Ed Helms |
![]() |
| You are lounging next to: Home > Sport | August 30th |
|
Kentucky and Duke to Have Their Own NCAA Championship GameApr 4 2005 by Greg Kuhl
"We have the richest traditions, the most blue-blood, high-profile basketball programs," Kentucky Coach Tubby Smith said. "Why wouldn't, and shouldn't, we play each other? "Sure, they always say teams reach the Final Four through play on the court. But let's be real. Louisville instead of us? C'mon. North Carolina instead of Duke? Michigan State instead of anybody? "I'll grant you, Illinois only lost one game. But what tradition do they have? The last time they made the Final Four was 1989. And, of course, they didn't win. "Kentucky vs. Duke is what fans want to see, it's what CBS wants to see, it's probably what one billion Chinese want to see. "And who would you rather see in the stands? Gorgeous Ashley Judd rooting for us? Or old and wrinkled Bill Murray pulling for Illinois? Ashley in a landslide. "CBS Analyst Billy Packer loves me. Every move I make, even sweating, is brilliant, according to Billy. And the other night, he even praised a Duke player for pointing in the right direction trying to convince the ref it was Duke's ball." Smith admitted that Kentucky players sometimes get confused "because we only have an eight percent graduation rate. But we're getting better. And we'll have time to play the game against Duke. It's not as though our guys are studying for their nuclear physics exams." Smith said another selling point for the game is the intense competition between Kentucky and Duke fans on the arrogance scale. "That's a tight battle, maybe even more intense than the competition on the court," Smith said. "Our fans have always had a sense of entitlement, looking down not only on Louisville and Western Kentucky, but all schools across the country. Duke's the same way. "We think our game with Duke will surpass anything the Final Four has to offer, even if it only ends up being televised on the Lifetime Network. It'll be quite a war." Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Copyright ©2003-2008 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Survey | Vermin |