 |
|
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · Dick Cheney |
|
 |
|
| You are misplaced along with: Home > Sport | August 20th |
| |
|
WNBA vs. Jail? Decisions, DecisionsMay 10 2005 by Greg Kuhl
A judge's order requiring the woman to purchase season tickets for an Arena Football League team and a WNBA team "is way more than cruel and unusual punishment," said Kendrell Jackson, the woman's lawyer. "Doesn't that judge recognize that women's professional basketball isn't really a sport, or at least not a real sport in the sense that the NFL or NASCAR are?" Jackson said. "And don't even get me started on arena football, which is sort of like pinball on a carpet. "Those 75-61 arena games are higher than my bowling score," the lawyer claimed. Jackson said his client choosing to surrender her Packers tickets "represented a real sacrifice on her part. The waiting list for those tickets is about 230 years long. The last time one was available was when legendary Packers Coach Vince Lombardi was a child, or somewhere in that time frame. "But to make her buy season tickets to third-rate entertainment like the WNBA and arena football just goes beyond the bounds of all decency and compassion," Jackson said. "I mean, there's not even a team in Wisconsin for either of those two-bit leagues." Too bad, said Winnebago County Judge Breland Summers. "She should have thought of that before she took the money. Sure, there's no team in Wisconsin in either of those leagues. But she can easily drive to Chicago to see the Chicago Rush in the Arena Football League or the Detroit Whatevers in the WNBA," the judge said. The judge, whose daughter recently was drafted by the Los Angeles Sparks of the WNBA, said the league needs all the fans it can get. "What better way to attract new paying customers than to send them there under court order?" Summers said. "It might even prompt a new marketing slogan - 'The WNBA, It's Better Than Going to Jail.'" Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2003-2008 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Survey | Vermin |