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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humor · George W Bush |
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| You are standing next to: Home > Sport | August 20th |
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Bush Swindles Nagin to Save Fantasy Football SeasonSep 29 2005 by R.C. Johnson
President George W. Bush, general manager of the Honchos, completed a blockbuster trade during a meeting with New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin, general manager of the Bayou Bad Mouths. Bush, in town to discuss recovery efforts for New Orleans, found time to twist Nagin's arm into giving up his starting quarterback and wide receiver. The deal calls for the Honchos to send the Bad Mouths Saints quarterback Aaron Brooks, Packers receiver Javon Walker, and economic considerations for the city of New Orleans. The Honchos will receive Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, Redskins quarterback Patrick Ramsey, and Eagles receiver Terrell Owens. While Bush would not speak publicly about the deal, Washington insiders report that the President has had many restless nights the past three weeks due to his lack of depth at the quarterback position. Bush has openly complained to White House staff that his starting quarterback (Brooks) "won't even play a freakin' home game this year!" Nagin was reluctant to discuss the trade with reporters after the meeting with the commander in chief. "My first concern is for the city of New Orleans," professed Nagin. "I don't really care about Peyton Manning anyway. There's no way he can match last year's production." Nagin revealed that the economic considerations he and Bush discussed involved New Orleans putting in a future bid for the World Swimming and Diving Championships. "President Bush said that it only made sense that we put in a bid," said Nagin. "He told me that everywhere he looks around here there's water. So why not use that to our advantage?" When asked about the championships coming to Louisiana, Nagin would only confirm that he could not swim and would not learn in order to secure the bid. Efforts to secure a comment on the trade from Vice President Dick Cheney, general manager of the Cardiac Kids and the next opponent of the Honchos, were unsuccessful. Get DeadBrain delivered to your Inbox! Click here to sign up at our parent site. Consider the weekly and monthly editions, each of which contain all-new, laugh-out-loud office comedy you won't see on the website!
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